plethora

A year in pictures '09!

one week till christmas . . .

. . . and have I begun my Christmas shopping?! No.

All I want for Christmas is to be with the fam, holding baby Noah, cuddling with Charlie, eating TONS of delicious holiday food items, and watching all my favorite movies with my sisters!

Classics like this will definitely be on the list:





Charlie Brown touches my heart. Every year my fam and I have a "Charlie Brown Christmas Tree," as we call it. It's a real tree with sparse branches, sweet smelling needles, decorated with love, and it's absolutely wonderful!





Also this is a MUST. I've been dying to watch it again! Enjoy the opening scene.





and who can deny this little treasure?!





Ok I didn't mean for this post to be all videos. Sorry. HA!

I was about to put up another video of "the best things happen while your dancing," but realized I should hold off or I'd end up putting the whole movie on here.

Christmas time is here!!

new obsession:

Oops, instead of studying for finals this past half hour I've been otherwise preoccupied . . .

My favorite one:

gratitude

hammer
hammer
pulse
throb
throb
thump

sniffle
*breath*
sneeze
cough
hack up
phlegm

It's finals week and I am to be accompanied by a delightful cold and pulsing headache.

So why, do you ask, did I entitle this post "gratitude?!"

Simply because I am grateful:
Grateful to be tested on my knowledge gained from this past semester, one of my hardest semesters thus far--if you can believe I am thankful for that {we'll see if I'm still grateful afterward}.
Grateful to Lauren for giving me medicine and for feeding me all semester.
Grateful to a certain teacher who allowed me to redo citations on a certain paper I was trying to forget and in my haste completely forgot to post page numbers instead of years for citations!
Grateful to finally begin my major classes next semester! Oops.
Not really grateful that a certain someone is leaving me for New Zealand, but grateful to have lived with her and grown with her and LOVED her. I'm also grateful that she will soon grow even more and have amazing adventures to tell me!
Grateful for this "candid" picture of petey and me captured at the Christmas party:


Grateful for an end in sight.
and Grateful to almost be done and on my way home!

*It should be an interesting break. A certain someone from my past will reappear and I still haven't figured out what to do with myself . . . I may have some stories to tell.

I wish you well as you are finishing up finals! Get some needed rest. Good luck all.

Much love,
Kenj

***************
P.S. I have a secret: I love hacking up phlegm. Grossed out?

renew

{this is an egypt sunset. special thanks to muniji}

"Be productive today . . .We'll sure miss you though. Just remember that."
I did remember. All day. Thank you.
I sure missed you too.
I also remembered to be productive.

RS Breakfast. Amish Oatmeal. Delish. Full.

Texts with Bre: I chose project and spiritual enlightenment. Not marathon. You be safe in that storm, my dear.

Errands:
Arts & Crafts. Cardstock, brushes, paints.
*Rich colors of denim blue, dark foliage green, straw yellow, chocolate cherry, seashell white, and my favorite plumb vineyard.
What creations may result. I want to enjoy the process.
Target /tar-ʒeI/ Reminders of childhood trips with mom. Love. Contact solution, body wash, bread, asparagus. Needed.

Jams to N'SYNC Christmas. It's a wonderful feeling, feel the love in the room from the floor to the ceiling.

Phone call. Give mom updates while rushing to campus . . .

Group Project.
Took forever. Still not satisfied.
Enough said.

Need nourishment. Physical and spiritual.
Thank you leftovers.
Thank you Spiritual Enlightenment. {Best decision, by far}.

"Who's influencing you & what are you influencing?"

Three things:
1. Know who you are. Discover how Heavenly Father feels about YOU. This will change your life. It will change how happy you can be {you are one of the "noble and great ones" D&C 138:55}.
2. Learn about the Atonement. Know what your Savior can do for you. He stands ready to help you with your weaknesses. He will help you deal with things bigger than you are.
3. Learn the language of the spirit. Ask him to teach you what it feels like and sounds like to you. Purity in thoughts, actions, desires, motives--these can determine how you receive revelation. Learn to block out the noise and rubbish & listen to the spirit. Try to be a little more pure.

*There is no chance Heavenly Father would take a chance on sending you to earth unless he had absolute confidence in your ability.

Thanks Sheri Dew and thanks Audrey for inviting me.
She's so real. A real woman with honesty. I'm beginning to learn how much I love it when people are straight-up. Straightforward without being overbearing. Humility. I'm working on it myself.

I've been searching for truth. Wanting more than just to feel the spirit, but to receive guidance in knowing what exactly I need to do. Tonight I learned that I must make some effort. I can't expect a straight-up answer if I am not willing to put in the work.

It's time to learn how to live--without inhibition {as Claire said} and with total confidence that my Savior will help me deal with the things that are bigger than I am. Time for new opportunities--chances to seize the moment and progress!

I begin a new journal tomorrow.
What new adventures await?

wishful thinking . . .

Never enough time to do it all. I can't be in 2 places at once.

{photo via here}

lost

*This is a long post. Just a disclaimer.*

It was a pleasure to smell the L-town breeze.
To feel it and immerse myself in mile high air.
My air. My hometown.

I walked into my clean, orderly room.
All my leftover belongings placed neatly in the shelves, all in their place.
I glance at each item:

A drawing from little Jade given to me at church. I miss her.
All my old journals filled with childish worries {they seemed so important at the time}.
Green glass-blown rose from Grandma.
The top shelf dedicated solely to my dolls, my best friends from before.
My High School letter "C" complete with academic letters, theater and choir pins.
And then a plaque caught my attention . . .

It reads:
Outstanding Vocal Musician. 2007 CHS.

Complete with my name engraved and everything. It's legit.

A rush of memories came flooding back to me:
Senior year. Epic. Dark blue robes, very airy. Lights beating down on a stage. Nerves of a final performance and anticipation for year-end rewards. I had been working towards this for 4 years! Determined to accept whatever came or did not come my way, I decided not to be bitter. I was unwavering.

Each name called, about 7 total, received a metal attached to blue ribbon. I tried not to covet as another was called and another. Each time expecting to hear my name among the few chosen. I felt myself give in and waver a little. I had about given up hope for myself. No one would remember this in about 5 years anyway, what did it really matter? I will hold a straight face. I will be happy for others. Besides I had my fill of stardom these past years, my turn was up.

Somehow I completely forgot about the last award. Suddenly I heard Mr. A say, "Last but not least, for outstanding vocal musician . . . " he turned and looked straight at me. My heart surged forward, just like that leap I've felt the few times I've been on a roller coaster {but that's another story}. Next thing I know people are cheering and clapping, urging me forward through the bleachers to claim my award.

"Woah! Did that really happen to me?"

Specific memories like this one were my defining moments. Things I had only dreamed about and never though possible. I identified myself in such a different way back then. It seems like ages ago . . .

Now . . . I sometimes feel lost. How is that when I've been given so many glorious opportunities to grow and find myself? Why when I have found myself before? Why when I have wonderful friends and family to help me along this path of discovery?

Maybe it's because now I don't have a chorus of people to cheer me on each time I succeed. I do it for myself. I don't need them to cheer me on. I am constantly searching for more truth; each time adds a little bit more until someday I will not be lost anymore. I'll be found.


Wizard: What do you want to be in the world? I mean the whole world. What do you want to be? Close your eyes and think about that.
August Rush: Found.

It would be so glorious to be found.

{image via google images}

soakin' up the sun

Just jammin' to some Toto here at work with my pal Rich. So sweet!

Also it's glorious to have my own computer again! {Thanks dad!}

I'm going to miss you fall. You were good to me this year.

{photo via lifelovepaper. I can't get enough of her!}

five + ten brought three & five

August 15th 2009.
The beginning of many firsts.

It was three months {and one day} ago. Woah. It was a great birthday.

Now there is less than five days of wait!

Look at us! We were all shiny and tan, except for me. I'm white/red always.

manual

we will be partying for the next few days:

it should be fun. let me know if you want to join!

p.s. a select few will be granted this opportunity ;)

p.p.s. i am drinking wassail. it's warm and delicious. yes.

word,

kenj.

dragonfly

8.21.09, 2:32 PM

i saw a dragonfly today.
i almost stepped on him.
he was big and beautiful;
the size of my palm with
a shimmering blue-green coat.

i almost didn't even see him.
i was a little distracted
as i was headed for my favorite bench,

but i saw him and . . .

he was dying. laying face-up on the hot pavement.
his legs twitching as he searched for his last breath.

it was a little heartbreaking.

i'd like to think he was an experienced dragonfly
with a long, love-filled life.
it was just his time.

we are all given time.
time to live and learn.
some are given more than others, but

. . .

11.10.09, 2:13 PM

where was I going with that?
who knows, it was over 2 months ago.

lately i've been feeling like that dragonfly:
lying face-up for all the world to look at,
twitching, searching for one last breath.

it's been hard.

i love dieter.

p.s. i went here this weekend with some fantastic friends!

i bought one of these:




















{photo via}

she's so rad

C'est ma soeur Janelle!

This girl is so rad. Like seriously.

Let me tell you a little bit about her. She's freaking hilarious, super talented and artsy (see the pics she took and edited below or just check out her blog), she's great at thrifting, and probably the most considerate person you'll ever meet. Also she can beat me any day at the movie quote game.

Today is her birthday. Can you believe that she is 17 today?!

I love her a lot and I miss her tons.

I can't wait to chill with you on Thanksgiving Nelly!