the birds {1963} scared my dad

crying is draining . . .

C'est Noël

I hope you all have a very happy Christmas.

















I Love Christmas.

fly me to the moon, let me sing among the stars

Quelle joie! Oh la liberté! Maintenant j'attendre . . . et je rêve

"fill my heart with song
let me sing for ever more
you are all I long for
all I worship and adore

in other words, i love you"

{fly me to the moon~frank sinatra}

there are places I remember . . . some forever, not for better.

Losing a dear friend.

I have tried and tried to express my thoughts about this whole situation, but nothing ever seems sufficient or blog worthy. Is this even blog worthy?

I don't know how to act anymore. I feel so awkward, an emotion I though I'd never feel around you. Things aren't the same, not like they used to be. The fault is both of ours. We let things drift even though we didn't want them to. You've always had your opinions about my life choices, I just tried to hide from the reality of your opinions until you opened my eyes to them. Wow was I shocked! All this coming from my best friend? I guess I've had my opinions on your life choices too, although I have never expressed them. That's not my character. You said that I was just another crappy friend who came in and out of your life. I never realized that the things I did were hurtful to you. I am sorry. Although this whole situation is new to me, I am not sorry for the things that were said. I've never lost a friend before. Not like this. It's just as hard for me as it is for you.

We are still the same people, but maybe just a little more grown up. Then why is everything so different, so changed?

I guess it's just life, right?

" . . . And I know I'll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know I'll often stop and think about them . . .

{in my life-the beatles}

Baby it's cold outside!

Now that it is colder and it has snowed, I can post this (FINALLY!). I've been waiting far too long.
The perfect winter date:

bundle up (mittens, scarves, hats, etc.)
build snow men
make snow angels
throw snow balls, etc.

then . . .

have an adventure!
discover new cafes, chocolate shops, candy shops, restaurants, etc.
taste test different hot chocolates and caramel apple ciders
be simple, be fun, be creative
of course, all while cuddling up next to your sweetie ;)


Ce sera parfait!

Only problem? I just need to find a date . . . :[] one minor detail.

i want that

O Smash Burger, O Smash Burger, how I want to eat you {sing this to the tune of O Chrismas tree}.
















I often have sudden and random cravings for certain things like a good hamburger from smash burger {seriously the best burger you will eat, no lie}. Too bad it's only in Colorado :( {Also Good Times is top quality and only in Colorado!!} Thank goodness for Christmas break! Woo Hoo!

love is more than just holding hands

Ferris wheel.

















I am scared of heights {yes I get scared at the top of Ferris wheels}.
But someday my *box husband will protect me.

*Disclaimer: I am not implying that I will have a box husband. I just couldn't think of a better word to use. ;)

des chaises, et cetera

I can't wait to decorate my own home someday. I love cool, mismatched chairs.

















{I took this picture at a crêpe stand}:

a blank box, gratitude, J'ai peur!

It's been a week since I last updated?! Crazy!

I am staring at a blank box. I have so many things I want to blog about, but I feel like I would just be repeating myself.

This past thanksgiving weekend was very good. I did absolutely nothing and I am proud of it! I am glad I got to see my family. I've missed them a lot. I got to cuddle with charlie. I got to eat some good food, something I haven't had for a long time. Although I didn't stuff myself, which is good. But maybe I did when it came to the desserts. Oops! I got to hang out with my extended family. My grandma taught my little sister and me how to make homemade rolls and cinnamon rolls too! I got to do a little sewing with mom, even though we didn't finish the dress. I got back to Provo safely despite the weather. We only have like 2 weeks until reading days and finals. Then it's Christmas! I have a lot to be thankful for!

Now I am trying to motivate myself to write an essay and do other homework. ugh.

Oh and I was chosen "randomly" to have a little interview with Mme. Thompson in french of course. EEK! She intimidates me. Thanks Monsieur Dennis. You know how I get when "je parle en francais," especially with Mme. Thompson! J'ai peur! You're a real pal. Just another thing to do before finals.

I need to go grocery shopping.

Je suis très occupée!

much anticipation, and then the letter finally came.

I have been accepted! I am super excited! Walt Disney World here I come!!! This summer, I will be a cast member in the "Quick-Service Food & Beverage" area. Basically I will work in a restaurant. Pretty lame, but I will have free access to all the rides and I can bring in 4 family members or friends in for free!! Score!

Despite my acceptance, I am still a little sad. My experience will most likely not look like this, which breaks my heart just a little bit. Actually a lot (click on picture to enlarge).














My childhood dreams will not come true.
I guess I got my hopes up a little too high :(


AAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!
While writing this blog, a commercial for Disney parks came on.
It must be a sign.

I miss this face

Sorry I am obsessed. I love this little guy so much!
I can't wait to cuddle with him next week!!
There is a little video of the little precious at the end. I wish I had one where he is on his back barking, so cute!

I wondered if I could hold it and fall in love with it too . . .

Thoughts:

I love weekends. Why are they so short?

Skype is my friend. Thank you skype for keeping me in touch, but please try to be a bit more reliable.

I like staying home in my sweats, watching movies, eating my weight in all sorts of good food, reading for pleasure, cooking real meals, hanging with the roomies far more than I like going to school. But Alas! I can not do that. Sad day.

Figuring out my schedule for next semester is a little annoying.

I want my hair to grow longer. It already is long, but I'd love to have long, luscious locks. I see girls on campus with hair that I want, and as much as I try to not compare myself . . . it happens.

I am so SO SO excited for thanksgiving. I have really been wanting a break for some time now. It's been long overdue and I just miss home. I can't wait to be with my family and eat amazing food. I miss food too. Oh the eating life of a college student! Also during this break, my mom and I will be working on some sewing projects that I started in the summer and never finished i.e. vintage dresses that I have been dreaming about and wanting to wear ever since we got the fabric for them. AHHH! Unfortunately I won't be able to finish them all in the ridiculously short break we are given. Hopefully I will come back to Provo with at least one dress . . . we will see.

and . . . Thanksgiving means Christmas is coming soon! I can hardly wait! More family, food, and fun! Free from this tom diggory(foolery) we call school! heh. ;)

Also I miss my amazing sister Elissa. Sometimes I wish we had a bit more communication from her rather that short, quick email each week. I know that she is doing a great work and that she is learning and growing from this experience so much. I am so thankful for her and the sacrifices she makes each day.

I can't STAND the anticipation to hear from the Disney College Program and to see if I am accepted AND if I passed the character audition (cross fingers!!) I can't think about it or I will get my hopes up, but the problem is that I think about it too often. Far too often. geez.

I really love making a fool of myself in my french class everyday! (sarcasm)

I love sleeping. I love getting enough sleep that my body needs and craves. Lately I've been having some strange dreams. Last night I dreamed about going back home because my high school needed me to replace the lead in a play . . . which brings us to how . . .

I miss acting. I got a small taste of it again this weekend when I was in a movie. Not a big deal, just for a kid who is a BYU film major and I had a little cameo. And film acting is way different from stage acting, but it still made me appreciate the experiences I had in high school.

I need to just stop worrying so much. Everything will work out. I just need to put my faith in the Lord that everything will turn out how it should. Sometimes it's hard to let things happen on the Lord's timetable, especially when I love to have everything so planned out. It's hard for me when I can't just look into the future and see what it will all be like: what my future will hold for me, things I can look forward to, and things I may want to avoid, but I'm glad it's not like that. I think it would take away all the excitement out of life, learning from my mistakes, experiencing life to it's fullest, and finding joy in the journey. ;)

Here is a precious photo of Sam, Janelle, and Charlie. It made me happy. I love all three of them. (next week baby!)

Once upon a time . . .

I about died when I found this!! It's a little embarrassing when a precious little child can speak a language better than you can, but of course I forgive her because she is so cute! This story is top quality and seriously can her eyelashes be any more gorgeous?!


Once upon a time... from Capucha on Vimeo.

confessions:

I crave chocolate after every meal.

Also I love Google image search. Reasons 1, 2, 3, and 4 as shown:





I am dying. seriously.

we love pictures but missed the sun

Le Week-end

I feel like I haven't blogged in a while. I want to, but can't seem to find anything noteworthy to blog about.

Anyway I just got back from filming in a movie! Yep, pretty sweet. Ask me about it later. Also I am about to go to the hot springs and embark on crazy adventures! woo woo! Kelly is in town and we will be hangin' tomorrow which should be super fun! Don't you just love the weekends!

Also I really wish I had a swimming suit like this for tonight:

















Yep.
If only . . .

I am . . .

. . . CROSSING MY FINGERS and waiting in eager anticipation.
4-6 weeks baby!

4-6 long weeks . . .

alsknfdghg . . . I don't have a better title.

I have way to many thoughts rushing through my mind and in an effort to sort them out, I am blogging.

My major: has been changed in my mind so many times, but I've never actually acted upon anything. I need to get on that. I need to go talk to a counselor and figure out what pre-requisites I need to take. Right now I am planning on an elementary ed. major with a minor in french. :[]

My future plans (i.e. this coming summer and study abroad): First of all, study abroad. I want to do it winter '10. I feel like that fits in my schedule the best . . . we'll see. Also I am seriously debating doing Disney college program this summer. It would look really good on a resume and it would be such a great experience! I already have an interview set up and I want to go to the character audition tomorrow. The problem is that it's such short notice and I am not good at spur of the moment things when it comes to future plans. I am a planner. I don't do well with spontaneity (depending on the circumstances). Also my pre-interview thing is during our ward murder masquerade party. There was no other time to do it. Fortunately it is a phone interview so I am Hoping Chris (a.k.a. Alaric Roth) wont get too mad at me. :[] I don't know what else to do!

My week: has been busy and it's basically only begun. It's midterm week for me and it's been a little stressful. We flew through this last french test so I don't feel like I got an adequate feel for it all. I can't believe we already have another oral exam!! Thank goodness that my bio presentation will be over soon! whew! :[] blech tests.

Also I get little spurts of nostalgia here are there. Sometimes I miss performing and singing in front of people. I won't be able to go back home for the school fall play this year. I probably could, but I just wouldn't be worth the money for travel. Oh well, good luck Stephen and Connor my loves! I know you will astound the audiences as always!

















And finally Happy Birthday little sister!! I can't believe you are 16 already! Live it up girl! I love you!

in the crisper drawer . . . yum?

apparently we love to let our fruits and veggies rot beyond recognition . . . remember this?